FINDING THE LIGHT THROUGH FASTING

Yesterday I had a new experience -  maybe due to all the crazy NEW year fire horse energy coinciding with Lent, Ramadan, solar eclipse all on or around the 17th of February- or maybe just feeling the intensity of these challenging times as well; as its abundantly clear to me now that we are in Threshold times..

So I chose to fast for the first time with a spiritual Muslim friend, who offered gentle encouragement on all the benefits fasting brings; cleansing, clearer thoughts and the big one of overcoming EGO control of our small selves through the guts' constant demands.. I knew that it wasn't going to be easy but I also knew that I hadn't challenged myself in a very long time and that my coffee habit was getting out of control, so I thought why not?

Suhoor is when the last meal is eaten before sunrise which was around 4:45am, then we literally stop everything- water, coffee and cigarettes..

I must admit I doubted my own inherently disciplined nature; all the years of my morning yoga practice, journaling, breathwork and the recent Will to the Light Meditations; I now see how I am already good with routines and abstaining from certain things for a later moment.

Still I felt that I would have to (and wanted to) spendmuch more time in meditation to resource myself for the inevitable hunger pangs and parched throat screaming out for water, so after waking up at a leisurely 11am, I went straight into meditation, aiming to connect to the light with my eye mask on, so no sunlight was seeping through..

It took me awhile to find the light as I had to descend to the density and darkness calling from my womb-space first, feeling into the familiar and unfamiliar terrain.Remembering the guidance from a Womb meditation I used to practice off youtube, I started to mentally sweep out anyone who I knew had contributed to the density, like a spring clean for my womb. Until eventually I felt like a doorway opened a tiny crack, I saw this warm orangey light start to enter my womb cave, slowly filling up the whole area and up to my second and third chakras with this light..Felt like the same glow of sunrise on Sinais mountains, warm hope lightening the load in all aspects and possibilities of the word Light..

Nothing new for me to have to descend to the darkness to reach the light, as I know that gravity is where we collapse, compost, then regenerate rising up into levity and lightness again. I knew this cycle from many karmic loops...

SO while I saw this swirly warm light start to spiral up the lower chakras I notice a blue light floating above my head, cool and crisp like a spirit cloud, I focused on it for a little while and the light started to flow into my head with an incredible freshness like a cold shower on my crown. Then this cool blue washed down through my head and top three chakras, illuminating and vibrating each centre, until it slowly arrived at the heart's space, where it sat in a yin/yang style wave with  the orange and blue light swirling around each other. not fully merging but definitely meeting..I felt there was an obvious symbiosis happening but also that both light and energies were separated and important in their message and meaning. The warm glow of earth light rising up to meet the cool density- free light of spirit, Earth and Sky light meeting in my heart in an orangey blue hypnotic symbiosis.

I sat with this image for a long while, as I widened my perception of Light to mean the opposite of heaviness, density, not just darkness. Indeed there are so many wonderful simultaneous meanings for light that I started to contemplate; I felt so blessed to experience this widening while fasting and giving up the density of food, coffee and all my earthly pleasures; if only for a day. When it finally came time to eat at sunset, the food and water felt incredible, and new like I was eating Joy and freedom - another form of Light I guess.

Who knew that fasting could bring me higher,  lighter and opened my eyes in meditation to this possible transcendence of the body’s' dense needs, for 12 hours..

Blessed to be able to explore the many faces of Light and my Will to it.